There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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