oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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