i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
