Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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