That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
