Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
