They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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