she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
