You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
