Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
