Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
