Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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