the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
