did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
