omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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