i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
