Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
