We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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