Whod you bang
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
