IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
