I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
