I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
