he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i think i just lost a toe
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
