I wish i was in the wii world.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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