remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
