I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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