Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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