Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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