My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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