I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
