who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
