this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
