Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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