so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
