there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
