The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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