If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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