dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
