I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
