I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
