I puked a lego.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
