They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
