I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
