I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
