Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
