just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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