I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
