i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
