sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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