I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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