I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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