he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
