Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
